Pregnancy, childbirth, and the early days of parenting can feel like a whirlwind of emotions, unpredictability, and, let’s face it, a little chaos. I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Ashley Brichter, the founder of Birthsmarter, on our podcast. Ashley has a gift for turning what can feel overwhelming into digestible, empowering advice for expectant parents.
One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was this: there’s no perfect recipe for childbirth. Instead of trying to follow a rigid plan, Ashley suggests mastering your foundational ingredients—communication, instincts, and adaptability—so you can face whatever the experience brings with confidence.
The Big Takeaway: Embrace the Unpredictability
Ashley reminded us that childbirth and early parenting are unpredictable by nature. Our culture loves control and certainty, but childbirth throws both out the window. The key is to focus on what you can control: your mindset, your communication with your partner, and your ability to adapt.
So, with that wisdom in mind, here are five key insights Ashley shared to help first-time parents navigate pregnancy and childbirth more smoothly:
1. Communication is Everything
Whether you're discussing birth plans, fears, or logistical tasks, open and honest communication with your partner is essential. Ashley highlighted the importance of learning to talk to each other when you're sleep-deprived, stressed, and anxious.
2. Dads and Partners Have Vital Roles
Ashley emphasized that partners are not just ‘helpers’ in the delivery room—they are critical team members. Their roles include keeping the environment calm and safe, advocating for the birthing parent, and managing logistics.
Partners: you’re not a bystander, you’re an essential part of the birth experience.
3. Understand the Physiology of Birth
One of the most fascinating parts of our conversation was when Ashley broke down the physiology of childbirth. From uterine contractions to cervical softening and baby rotation, understanding how birth works can demystify the process and reduce anxiety. Education isn't just for the birthing parent—partners should be in the know, too.
4. Prepare for the Mental Load
The mental load of parenting starts long before your baby arrives. Ashley talked about the importance of dividing responsibilities thoughtfully—not just who changes diapers, but who researches diaper brands, restocks supplies, and tracks growth milestones. Sharing the mental load creates a healthier dynamic for both parents.
5. Build Your Support System
Ashley’s final piece of advice was golden: partners need support, too. Find someone you trust—a friend, sibling, or mentor—who can be available during labor and the early postpartum days.
Modern Husbands Podcast Episode
Show Notes
00:00 Introduction
01:24 How did you become passionate about supporting couples through childbirth and the early stages of parenting?
05:01 What are some common challenges couples face during childbirth and how can they prepare to tackle these together? Instincts, healthy communication, learning to make decisions, connection with elders
19:42 How important is it for both partners to be actively involved during labor and delivery, and what roles can the non-birthing partner play?
25:24 Can you discuss the emotional and psychological impacts of childbirth on a couple’s relationship and how they can strengthen their bond during this time?
31:51 How can couples divide parenting responsibilities in a way that feels fair and supportive to both partners?
37:02 What advice do you have for couples on managing the stress that comes with sleep deprivation and constant caregiving in the first year?
45:12 One is one piece of simple and actionable advice you would like to leave our listeners with?
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Final Thoughts
Parenting starts long before you hold your baby for the first time. It begins with preparation, communication, and a willingness to let go of perfection. As Ashley beautifully said, childbirth isn’t about following a recipe—it’s about knowing your core ingredients and adapting as you go.
If you or someone you love is preparing for this incredible journey, share these insights with them. And remember, you’ve got this—one deep breath (and maybe a board game in the delivery room) at a time.
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