Click here to access the Interactive Feelings Wheel.
Nathan (Nate) Astle, CFT™, MFT is the Founder of the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute. What follows are his thoughts on anger, which are reshared with his permission.
Is anger inherently bad or destructive?
Myth: Feeling or expressing anger is always harmful.
Reality: Anger is a normal emotion that can be healthy when expressed appropriately.
Should anger always be suppressed?
Myth: It’s better to keep anger inside to avoid conflict.
Reality: Suppressing anger can lead to bigger emotional and physical problems; expressing it constructively is healthier.
Does anger always lead to aggression?
Myth: If you're angry, you'll inevitably act out aggressively.
Reality: Anger can be managed and expressed without aggression.
Does venting anger make you feel better?
Myth: Expressing anger in an explosive way (like yelling or hitting something) releases tension and helps you calm down.
Reality: Venting often intensifies anger rather than reducing it.
If I’m angry, is someone else to blame?
Myth: Your anger is always justified and caused by others.
Reality: Anger often arises from personal interpretations or unmet needs, and responsibility for handling it lies within.
Is anger uncontrollable?
Myth: Anger is something that can’t be controlled, and when it arises, you have no choice but to act on it.
Reality: Anger is manageable through self-awareness and skills like mindfulness and emotional regulation.
Will ignoring anger make it go away?
Myth: If you ignore feelings of anger, they will disappear on their own.
Reality: Ignoring anger often leads to resentment or an eventual emotional outburst.
Is it true that good people don’t get angry?
Myth: Being angry means you're a bad or immoral person.
Reality: Anger is a natural emotion experienced by everyone, including "good" people.
Is anger all-powerful, taking over your thinking?
Myth: When you're angry, you can’t think rationally or make good decisions.
Reality: While anger can cloud judgment, with practice, you can learn to manage your emotions and think clearly.
Should anger be avoided at all costs?
Myth: It’s always better to avoid situations that make you angry.
Reality: Avoiding anger-provoking situations can lead to ignoring important issues and reduce opportunities for growth.
Is anger caused by external events?
Myth: Specific situations or people make you angry.
Reality: Anger arises from how you interpret and react to situations, not the events themselves.
Is anger always irrational?
Myth: Whenever someone is angry, they are overreacting or being unreasonable.
Reality: Anger can be a rational and appropriate response to injustice, boundary violations, or unmet needs.
Click here to learn more about the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute.
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