The pain of two career households coupled with one career household workplace culture continues to take its toll.
Three problems from a recent nationwide Gallup survey popped off the page for me.
Problem
Women are 3x more likely than men to say they are the default responder to unexpected childcare issues in their family.
Solution
I reviewed the Gallup report while waiting for Paul Sullivan of the Company of Dads to join our meeting. He had a last minute doctor’s appointment to manage with one of his children and could not join. I have the same role in our home.
Managing last-minute healthcare issues requires flexibility and understanding at work and with partners. Coordinate with your spouse to determine who this should be based on your work environments, and if needed, take turns from one year to the next.
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Resources
Folks and organizations to follow with active websites, podcasts, or social media channels who share solutions:
Problem
Among the women who wish they could work more, 49% cite financial reasons, and 70% cite family obligations as major family obstacles.
Solution
For every year a college educated woman is out of the labor force, $250,000 of lifetime income is lost. For married couples, that's not just her income, that's in household income.
We addressed how women who are squeezed out of their careers can make long-term term, financially informed decisions with their spouses in our past post, How to Boost Household Income: Mind the Gap.
Couples might be locked into their current careers unless changes in the home are made. In this case, they should consider using the Fair Play System. Read, The Fair Play System: How It Works.
Resources
Folks and organizations to follow with active websites, podcasts, or social media channels who share solutions:
Any Fair Play Certified Instructor
Related: The Marriage Toolkit includes everything couples need to start, strengthen, or rebuild their relationships and manage marriage as a team.
Problem
In Idaho, 79% of working mothers do NOT feel comfortable asking for help when needed.
I can’t help but wonder whether my wife would have fallen into that 79% category when I was working 70-80 hour work weeks outside of the home.
In retrospect, I was so laser-focused on “my lane” for the household that I had very little mental space to consider what the home needed.
This wasn’t healthy, not for me, not for my wife, and not for our family.
Solution
I really hope folks aren’t trapped, or feel trapped, in the work weeks I faced.
If that’s the case, and you can find a way to wiggle out of your overwhelming work weeks, take this newfound time and lean into your home. Start by picking one task that requires ongoing attention to shift away from your partner and own yourself. Own the task from start to finish, liberating your spouse from worrying about whether it’s done.
You can find the specifics needed to see this suggestion through by reading our post, How to be a Great Husband: Help Manage the Cognitive Labor Needed to Run the Home.
Resources
Folks and organizations to follow with active websites, podcasts, or social media channels who share solutions:
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