Talking about our feelings is a cornerstone of communication in marriage. For many of us, expressing our emotions can be a challenging task.
In this blog post, we'll explore ways to open up and share our feelings with our spouses, fostering a deeper emotional connection. The most useful starting point is the emotional wheel.
How to Use an Emotion Wheel
An emotion wheel is a visual guide with no clear starting or ending point. It makes it easier for us to identify exactly how we are feeling. You can start where it makes sense for you. Here are some tips for using the wheel:
Determine the emotion closest to your current feeling
Those emotions closest to the center are more intense, while those further out are milder.
Emotions are combined between each spoke on the wheel. Find the emotion that best describes how you feel right now.
Identify the trigger
Emotions don't just happen out of nowhere. The way you feel is often triggered or caused by something. Occasionally, it's easy to figure out the trigger. At other times, there may be more than one event involved.
Analyze connections
You may notice that some emotions can lead to others. A healthy romantic relationship may be characterized by emotions such as trust and joy.
Take action or make changes
Identifying your emotions and triggers can help you determine how to act positively. For example, you may experience love-related emotions when you have a romantic partner.
However, if you've been in unhealthy relationships in the past, this could make you worried about the future of your relationship. Instead of avoiding the emotions you're experiencing, it can help you express your feelings to your partner when you're ready.
You can cope and work through your emotions by acknowledging them.
An Effective Communication Process
Create a Safe and Judgment-Free Space
Building a safe environment is essential for encouraging open communication. Assure your wife that her thoughts and feelings are valued and respected.
Start with Small Steps
A gradual approach to sharing our feelings makes both partners more comfortable with the process.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Pick a moment when both of you are relaxed and free from distractions. A quiet and comfortable environment allows for a more focused and meaningful conversation.
Use "I" Statements: When expressing feelings, use "I" statements to convey personal experiences without placing blame to avoid defensiveness and promote understanding. For example, say "I feel" instead of "You always" to express your emotions more effectively.
Active Listening
Show genuine interest in your spouse's response to foster a sense of being heard and understood. This reciprocal communication builds a stronger emotional connection.
Body Language
Make eye contact, nod, and respond appropriately.
Be Patient and Understanding
Sharing emotions is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and your partner. Understand that both of you may have different communication styles, and respecting those differences is essential.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
If difficulties persist, consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor. Professional assistance can provide valuable insights and tools to enhance communication skills and strengthen emotional connections.
If the issue stems from arguments about money, use the Financial Therapy Association Directory to find a Financial Therapist.
Citations
Hokuma Karimova, MA. “The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It.” The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It [+PDF], PositivePsychology.com, 18 Jan. 2024, positivepsychology.com/emotion-wheel/.
Fletcher, Jenna. “Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It.” How to Understand Your Feelings Using an Emotion Wheel, Psych Central, 12 Aug. 2023, psychcentral.com/health/emotion-wheel.
Margarita Tartakovsky, MS. “How to Express Your Feelings and Emotions in a Relationship.” How to Understand Your Feelings Using an Emotion Wheel, Psych Central, 30 Mar. 2022, psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-express-emotions-in-relationships#tips-to-express-emotions.