Money is often one of the most common sources of conflict and stress in a marriage. Many couples argue, stress, and even divorce over money matters. How often and why do couples fight over money? How does money affect marital quality, stability, and satisfaction?
Here are some evidence-based insights on whether money is a big issue in marriage.
Money is a Big Issue in Marriage
Money troubles can often lead to headaches and heartaches in marriages. Picture a tug of war over financial issues, and you'll understand how it can shake up the happiness and harmony in a relationship.
Fast Facts
Money is a leading cause of divorce
Money is a leading cause of stress in a marriage
Money is a leading cause of arguments in a marriage
In 2012, researchers Dew, Britt, and Huston embarked on a journey to uncover how arguing over finances could impact marital bliss over time. What they found was a bit unsettling: couples that frequently squabbled over money typically ended up less satisfied with their marriages and were more likely to call it quits.
Just four years later, another duo of researchers, Doherty and Simmons, painted a similar picture. They discovered that financial stress, like a mountain of debt, no job, or a skinny paycheck, was a primary cause of marital disagreements. As financial pressures increased, so did the frequency of squabbles between partners.
It's clear then that money woes have a way of creeping into and wreaking havoc in marriages, causing tension to rise and harmony to plummet. This underlines the importance of good old conversation and smart money moves to keep the love and finances sailing smoothly.
Dr. Britt (Research Author) on the Modern Husbands Podcast
Money Affects Marital Quality
Whether or not money can buy happiness is debatable. However, it is widely understood that money provides more financial security, reducing marital stress.
Money may provide a sense of security and stability that enhances marital quality. Couples with more assets (such as savings, investments, or property) at the beginning of marriage were more likely to be happier with their marriage and argue less frequently.
Related: Did you know that marriage can be the ultimate wealth hack?
Anyhow, couples with more debt (such as credit card debt or student loans) at the beginning of their marriage often report lower marital satisfaction levels and higher marital conflict over time.
Why? Debt may create a sense of burden and strain that undermines how happy and secure couples feel in marriage.
Money Predicts Distress and Divorce
Money is not only a source of marital conflict but also a predictor of divorce and marital distress. Marriage quality may be undermined by economic pressure and stress.
Couples with higher levels of financial disagreements in their first marriage are less satisfied with their relationship and have a higher level of marital conflict in the future. Furthermore, couples with more financial problems at the beginning of their marriage were more likely to divorce after 12 years.
The tools and concepts couples possess to manage money do not always reduce the financial challenges couples face, but they do equip couples with ideas to manage challenges which in turn reduces friction in marriage.
Financial Harmony = Happier Marriages
Financial compatibility affects financial disagreements within marriages. There are fewer disagreements and conflicts related to money matters among couples with similar financial values and goals.
When faced with financial challenges, aligning financial perspectives led to greater understanding, compromise, and effective problem-solving.
Clearly, couples on the same page financially have an easier time navigating money problems, reducing marital strain.
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How Many Happy Married Couples Manage Money
There are several common characteristics and practices among couples who do not engage in frequent money arguments. These factors contribute to healthy financial dynamics within their relationship:
Shared financial goals
Open and honest communication
Do not lie or deceive your partner about money
Share similar financial values, attitudes, and priorities
Effective financial planning and budgeting
Mutual respect and a willingness to work through differences with compromise
Regular check-ins and financial reviews (money dates)
Pool their money into one household budget
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Citations
Archuleta, K. L., Britt, S. L., & Tonningsen, S. (2012). Financial disagreements and marital satisfaction: The role of financial knowledge and financial behaviors. Journal of Financial Therapy, 3(2), 1–18.
Copur, Zeynep. (2014). The relationship between financial issues and marital relationship. International Journal of Arts and Sciences. 7. 683-698.
Doherty, E. M., & Simmons, L. A. (2016). Couple money conflicts and marital satisfaction: A moderated mediation model. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 37(1), 44–58.
Dew, J. P., Britt, S. L., & Huston, S. J. (2012). Examining the relationship between financial issues and divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615–628.
GORMAN, E. H. (2000). Marriage and Money: The Effect of Marital Status on Attitudes Toward Pay and Finances. Work and Occupations, 27(1), 64–88. https://doi.org/10.1177/0730888400027001004
Meloy, M. G., & Culpepper, C. L. (2019). The impact of financial planning and financial conflict on relationships. Journal of Financial Therapy, 10(1), 1–19.
Papp, Lauren M et al. “For Richer, for Poorer: Money as a Topic of Marital Conflict in the Home.” Family relations vol. 58,1 (2009): 91-103. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00537.x
Xiao, J. J., Li, X., & Tang, C. (2011). Money, communication, and relationship satisfaction: The mediating and moderating roles of financial management behaviors. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 32(4), 668–679.