top of page
Writer's pictureBrian Page

The Ultimate Guide to Proposing: Timing, Traditions, and Tact

The Ultimate Guide to Proposing: Timing, Traditions, and Tact

Engagement proposals should be moments of joy, anticipation, and sometimes a little nervousness. Whether you’re planning a grand gesture or a more intimate moment, knowing the ins and outs of proposing can make your experience unforgettable. 


Let’s dive into some common questions to ensure your proposal is both memorable and meaningful.


How to Propose?


The key to a perfect proposal is personalization. Think about what makes your relationship unique and try to incorporate those elements into your proposal. The video clip below is the example of personalization and creativity I have ever seen:



Here are a few steps to consider:


Choose a Meaningful Location


Whether it’s where you had your first date, a dream vacation spot, or a quiet place under the stars, the right setting can make the moment even more special. 


Plan the Moment


Decide if you want a private moment or a public declaration. Some prefer the intimacy of a quiet setting, while others love the idea of friends and family sharing in their joy.


Prepare What to Say


Speak from the heart, but having a plan can help. Express why you want to spend your life with them, recalling special moments or qualities that made you fall in love.


What follows is the best example of preparation for what to say I could imagine:



What Knee Do You Propose On?


Traditionally, you kneel on your left knee. This custom is rooted in medieval times when knights would kneel in submission or respect. It’s a gesture of devotion, showing your partner that you’re committed and respectful of your future together.


What to Say When Proposing?


Your proposal words should feel authentic and true to your feelings. Start by addressing your partner lovingly, tell them what they mean to you, recall a few significant moments in your relationship, and then lead into the big question, “Will you marry me?” Make sure to use their name—it adds a deeply personal touch to the moment.


When to Propose?


Timing is crucial. Choose a time when you both are relatively stress-free and can enjoy the moment. This might be a significant date in your relationship, such as an anniversary or during a holiday season when spirits are high. Just ensure it feels right for both of you without any external pressure.


Should I Propose on Her Birthday?


While proposing on her birthday can make the day even more memorable, consider if your partner would like their engagement to share this date. Some might prefer to keep their birthday and engagement as separate special occasions. Gauge how your partner might feel about sharing these two significant events.


Fun fact: I didn’t ask my wife to marry me on her birthday, but we did get married on her birthday. 


Should I Ask My Girlfriend’s Parents Before Proposing?


This depends on cultural expectations and personal preferences. If her family holds to traditional values, they might appreciate the gesture of asking for their blessing. It can show respect and intent to join the family. 


However, the key is to understand what feels right for you and your partner.


Should I Propose Before or After Dinner?


The Ultimate Guide to Proposing: Timing, Traditions, and Tact
Pictured: My wife and I the night of our engagement

Proposing before dinner can alleviate your nerves, allowing you both to enjoy the meal to celebrate. However, an after-dinner proposal can be the perfect end to a romantic evening, especially if you're somewhere special. Consider what would feel most natural and meaningful for you both.


Should I Propose After 1 Year?


The right time to propose is less about the length of the relationship and more about the depth of your connection. If after a year you both feel ready for this commitment, then it’s a good time. Ensure you have discussed your future together and are both looking for the same things in life.


Learn More: Related Articles



Click here to subscribe to our free newsletter for ideas to manage money and the home as a team delivered to your inbox every two weeks.


Worst Proposal Ever


Don't ever do this. Ever. Click the image to play the clip.


Worst proposal ever.

Wrapping It Up


Every proposal is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer to how it should be done. The best proposals are thoughtful and well-suited to the couple’s style. Remember, this is about your journey together, so focus on what makes your relationship special.


Follow Modern Husbands


Start, Strengthen, or Rebuild Your Marriage. Our Marriage Toolkit empowers couples with evidence based ideas from 40+ of the nation’s leading experts in managing money and the home as a team.


Winning ideas from experts to manage money and the home as a team. 2023 Plutus Award Finalist: Best Couples or Family Content.


🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Apple.

🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Spotify.


Winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team delivered to your inbox every two weeks. You'll even receive a few free gifts!

bottom of page