If you surprise your wife with flowers, is it really a gift if you're using half her money to buy it? Is candy the right choice if she feels better about herself when she eats right? Should you fork over a bunch of money for a weekend getaway when money is tight?
Choosing the right gift can be tough, particularly when money is tight or some husbands need to know what their wives really want. So I decided to ask.
I posed the following question on the Modern Husbands Facebook page and my personal page:
What one 30-minute task that is out of the ordinary routine would mean the most to you if your husband did it as a surprise?
The best gift idea for a wife?
"Clean the toilets."
Many thanks to my wife for that suggestion, which as you can see from the Instragram reel, is a bit of a pattern. In my defense, I made our kids clean the toilets after reading the response.
And what was the second most popular response?
"Meal plan for the week. Grocery list and all."
Before I get to the remainder of their responses, I need to point out the unprompted praise husbands are getting. Here are some of the comments:
"No clue what I'd do without my hubby- Does a ton around the house. Not always how I prefer but I see the effort."
"My husband does this (folds laundry in the living room) all the time but I can't complain- he's amazing at laundry… response "same here, grateful for the help…"
"Mine does this (laundry) already but for me, when I have time to cook he cleans up the whole kitchen! It is everything for me and so worth all the time it takes…."
"The best is when he asks if I want to go for a walk. It's like a mini date!!"
As far as what women REALLY want? Here are the remainder of their responses, which I categorized.
The laundry
"Folding the clothes that have been sitting in the dryer/laundry basket just waiting to be folded"
"...the occasional load of laundry and don't forget to fold and put away!"
"Do the laundry IN the laundry room rather than all over the family room."
"Fold the laundry"
Cleaning the kitchen and cooking
"Clean the refrigerator and empty the toaster"
"Empty the dishwasher. Throw away empty containers like cereal and chip bags. I better stop ***""
"Deep clean the fridge."
Other ideas for free gifts that make your wife happy
"Create the family To Do list for the week by noticing what actually needs done!"
"Any kind of indoor house cleaning, other than doing dishes, which we share."
"Clean out the minivan"
"Organize toys"
"Clean anything...without being asked."
"Pick up the dog poop!"
"Cleaning the toilets!"
"Meal plan for a week. Grocery list & all!"
These responses should come as no surprise. Sharing household chores ranks as the third-highest issue associated with a successful marriage, behind only unfaithfulness and good sex.
The division of labor isn't always fair at home, but that's only the case in some households. Our Modern Husbands Ambassadors have shared how they partner to manage money and the home. We also know that men traditionally do
And as I've shared in a previous post, many men are happiest when contributing equally to household chores. According to research by the University of Cambridge, men, not women, benefited from a less traditional gender role divide in household chores.
I've heard the perspective that partnering to manage the home should not be something husbands should be thanked for doing. However, I've never met a husband who didn't appreciate it.
If you've been inspired to gift your spouse an idea from this post, consider other ways y'all can partner together and take advantage of our free household chores list.
If you have a husband and want to add to the suggestions, please feel free to do so on our past post. One final tip boys, whatever you do, do not ever tell your spouse this:
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