Looking back on textbooks from the 1950s (seen below) is nauseating but important context to remember as we consider how societal norms could influence the home management decisions many couples make. We must respect that our parents learned this in school, and many modeled it for us because it subconsciously influences how we see our roles inside the home. Those systems employed today lead to countless problems in marriages today.
We now know that deciding who should do what in a modern home based gender is lunacy, particularly when both partners work. Consider that women earn around the same or more than their husbands in 45% of households.
Yet, women continue to take on a disproportionate amount of work at home. Even in marriages where women earn more, wives are spending 3+ more hours weekly than their husbands managing the home.
Who Should Do Household Chores?
The division of labor in dual-career households should be based on practicality, passion, and equal leisure time for each partner.
Rather than gender stereotypes or assumptions about who should handle specific tasks, couples can allocate household responsibilities based on their skills, work schedules, and personal strengths.
This approach optimizes efficiency and fosters a more supportive, understanding relationship where both partners feel valued for their contributions.
How Much Housework Should a Husband Do?
Fairness is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship, and this principle extends to the division of household chores. A fair division of responsibilities not only contributes to a harmonious and balanced partnership but also fosters mutual respect, shared accountability, and a sense of partnership.
As reported by ABC News, research conducted by the University of Cambridge found that men, not women, benefited from a less traditional gender role divide in household chores.
To break free from outdated norms when dividing up household chores, married couples can draw on academic research that highlights the benefits of challenging traditional gender roles.
Couples who openly communicated about their expectations, negotiated chore responsibilities based on individual strengths and preferences, and actively sought a more egalitarian division of labor reported higher relationship quality and satisfaction.
There is a strong connection between fair chore division and relationship satisfaction. Couples who reported a more equitable distribution of housework experienced higher levels of relationship quality over time.
Fellas, if a happier marriage isn’t enough motivation to ensure a fair division of labor at home, consider that couples who evolve into a fair division of labor reported an improved sex life.
Balancing Career and Home Life
With both men and women actively participating in the workforce, it is crucial to acknowledge the demands and responsibilities of professional life.
A distribution of household chores that leads to equal leisure time allows individuals to strike a balance between their careers and personal lives, reducing stress and creating a more sustainable work-life equilibrium. Sharing responsibilities also enables both partners to pursue their personal goals and ambitions without feeling overwhelmed by domestic tasks.
When husbands actively participate in doing their fair share of household chores, it can significantly contribute to their spouses' career advancement and success.
Research conducted by Bertrand (2019) found that when husbands engage in household tasks, their wives are more likely to pursue higher education, attain higher-paying jobs, and experience greater career satisfaction.
Sharing domestic responsibilities allows women to allocate their time and energy towards professional endeavors, thereby reducing the burden of balancing work and home responsibilities. This support from husbands not only enables their spouses to excel in their careers but also promotes gender equality and challenges traditional gender roles, fostering a more equitable and supportive partnership.
Modeling Equality for Future Generations
By challenging traditional norms and sharing household chores, couples set a positive example for future generations. Children growing up in households where both parents contribute equally to household tasks learn that gender does not define one's responsibilities. This instills a mindset of equality and helps break the cycle of gender-based expectations, creating a more inclusive and progressive society.
Helpful Resources and Ideas
Follow Modern Husbands
Start, Strengthen, or Rebuild Your Marriage. Our Marriage Toolkit empowers couples with evidence based ideas from 40+ of the nation’s leading experts in managing money and the home as a team.
Winning ideas from experts to manage money and the home as a team. 2023 Plutus Award Finalist: Best Couples or Family Content.
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Apple.
🔔 Click here to listen and subscribe to the Modern Husbands Podcast on Spotify.
Winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team delivered to your inbox every two weeks. You'll even receive a few free gifts!